Bigger News

It seems something as big as this I would have posted the day I discovered it. But it was too much to blog about. The same day as my last post I was feeling a little sick. Like sea-sick, every time I bent over to pick something up off my messy floor I felt a little nauseated. I first blamed it on my new glasses. So I took them off. Then I started thinking about the past month and one week, and thinking about an event that hadn't taken place yet. Usually nothing tobe alarmed about as this happens often enough. But that mixed with the feeling of nausea just made me a little worried.

Of course I knew it was possible, but was told it was also unlikely. Due to

the doctor's beliefs that I had endometriosis and a medication I was on the year previous said that it often gives women a lot of difficulty conceiving, I believed it was highly unlikely that I could be pregnant even though we were not taking all the precautions in the world to prevent it.

However, anytime I feel a bit sick, it's Chris's joke to say "I bet you are pregnant." Sometimes I wonder if he was wishfully jokingor if he just thought I was complaining too much. So I went ahead to the pharmacy to geta test.

Got home, did the thing, waited 2 minutes. Well, I looked after about 1 m

inute to see the double line. Double line means your pregnant. Okay, so maybe the 2nd line will go away by the 2nd minute. 5 minutes pass and it is still there.

Suddenly I couldn't decide if I was happy, scared, nervous, or some othe

r feeling that other languages have a word for but english doesn't. Why must Ionly speak one language?!

How would I tell Chris? Should I wait a couple days? Should I call him now?

I went to the little kids toy store not far from my house for some inspira

tion. It was there. A ugly but slightly cute pea in the pod stuffed toy. The

pod made a perfect place for me to slip in the pregnancy test next to the baby pea. I had it wrapped up and called up Chris to tell him we were going out that night to celebrate me getting new glasses. I picked him up- he suspected nothing. We went for a walk around downtown Austin- he suspected I wanted to eat out somewhere expensive. I tookhim to the Capital where I told him I wanted to give him a present as we sat at a bench in front of the steps. I told him I wanted to give him a present- he suspected another lame shirt.

As he opened the present to see the ugly but slightly cute pea in the podhe laughed a little in confusion. Then as he looked at the test, itall started to click. He was excited.

Since then.

Well I had a few days to be excited, and then it started going downhill with some serious morning sickness that lasted from morning to evening and into the night. I went to the doctor several times to figure out something to help me keep food down. I took some different medicines (I ended up sticking with Metoclopramide) but nothing really worked. The best thing I could do is just stay at home and rest. Even getting in the car made me ill. The drive to Thanksgiving in Mountain Home Arkansas with my Dad's side of the family was so rough... If I didn't understand anatomy I would have thought I thew up the little baby.

Today is my first day of my second tri-mester and things are settling down a bit... I'm talking mostly about settling in my tummy. Car sick is still my main problem. Even when I am the driver! Once I get sick it takes hours to feel better. Then if I drive for hours as I did this weekend to go see my family in Hallsville, I'm sick for a couple days. If only I could stay home all day or ride my bike everywhere for the next 7 months.

I wonder how often I will post about this new big thing in my life.

A new way to see

It's like the first time I saw an HD television. I didn't know anything was wrong with television before, I could see it just fine. But then with HD! It so clear and crisp.

When he first put the purple rimmed glasses on me it was as though I was not in HD but blue ray movie... weird, too dramatic, too fine. But after a few minutes my eyes adjusted. I started looking at nature around me as I walked back to my house. Everything is so crisp and so clear. No longer just the dull vision as before.

In my short walk from the vision center to my rented duplex, my thoughts ran back to a time in Morocco, helping eye doctors make eye glasses for children in poverty. Many of them had the same expression I'm sure I just had. Peering through the glass looking up at the trees, down at the grass, across at the street sign. It's the same thing as it was before but just different.

What was it like to go from the extremes as some children experienced. Not being able to see the shape of your best friends face to suddenly seeing her deep dark brown eyes and perfectly round face framed by a white hijab lined with delicate red and gold designs.

Sometimes I envy the one who experiences such extremes in life, to be blind and then see. My new way to see has always been just slight, just a little sharper, wondering if there may be a day to see even slightly sharper than this.

Regardless, I'll do my best to remember the blessings of discovering a new way to see.