Showering with baby

So Adelaide is just a few days shy of 6 months old, and I love this phase.  Right now she can sit up on her own and play with toys.  Its so much fun interacting with her.  She even tries conversation.  I say something and she says, "bla boo ga da ma!" I say, "really?" and she says back, "ba ba ga!"

I use my feet to give her a little extra support.

Anyway, since I am basically a subscriber to attachment parenting, I won't leave her in a play pin or crib to take a shower while my husband is not home.  And I just know if I try to sneak a shower while she naps, she will most certainly start crying for me the minute I get my hair all sudsy!  So now with her stage of playing and sitting up... and loving water as she has since about one month old, I just take her in the shower with me!  I plop her bare bottom on the tub floor with a few rubber duckies and blocks and put the water on about 99 degrees and we do our thing!  She has fun playing with the toys, and I enjoy talking to her about her play while I wash my hair and body, shave my legs, and even my old routine of just standing their for 5 minutes enjoying the warm water on my neck. At the end Adelaide gets a good scrub down too!

We are way more careful with the products we put on our baby than we do ourselves so when I'm showering with baby I try to use products I wouldn't mind getting on her, just incase some soap splashes her way.  We received a ton of Johnson & Johnson body wash, shampoo, and such before she was born, but our doctor said she sees case after case of skin problems, acne and diaper rashes caused by Johnson & Johnson products.  She says "the bottle might say #1 choice of hospitals, but I don't know any pediatric dermatologist that condones it."  So since our baby doesn't seem to have great allergies I just use it on myself and if it gets on her, I'm sure it won't be too terrible!  We use California Baby products which are made in the USA (hurray!) and are very gentle on babies.  

Breastfeeding part 2 (My experience)

Someone in MOPS suggested to me that when I blog I should try to just pose things as a question or give simply my personal experience rather than state my opinion bluntly when I blog.  I TRIED to do that with Breastfeeding part 1.  And with Breastfeeding part 2 I think I will be more successful in sharing just my personal experience with feeding Adelaide. 
To keep my already long blog from becoming a novel, I've included links you can follow if you have questions about some of my terminology. 

Skin to Skin contact
after labor and delivery.

The first seconds
There were only about 2 seconds... maybe just one second, that my baby was not on my body after she came out of me.  Those seconds were only because someone had to catch her!  (Maybe if I have another I could try to catch my baby myself but I'm not that big of a warrior mamma yet!)  From the time she was born she was on my chest- skin to skin.  No one took her away from me for at least an hour- not even to weigh her or clean her.  A nurse simply washed her off while she was on me.  This skin to skin contact I am told helps increases milk supply, so I guess that is why the midwife prescribes it immediately!

For about an hour the only people in the room were the people who were their for the delivery.  Other loved ones were standing anxiously at the door of the birth room to see the baby.  They finally were let in and hung out with us for about 30 minutes.  (They waited 8 hours in the lobby for a 30 min visit!)  She got the ceremonial weighing and measurements that everyone enjoyed watching and then the crowed went out the door and the lactation nurse came in.

She said, "let's get you to feed her."  It was kind of funny at first how the nurse took the baby's head in her fingers and rubbed the baby's nose and lips on me till baby's mouth came open.  As soon as the mouth opened the nurse shoved the baby's face into my breast and the baby went to town munching away at the colostrum.  She laughed when she heard the snorting sound that to me sound like she was suffocating a bit.  The nurse said, "that's so cute... don't worry its normal."

The first days
I was instructed that every two hours I should be feeding her.  If she seemed hungry before 2 hours then by all means I should go ahead and feed her then.  I would feed her on cue when I saw she was hungry which was about every 90 minutes.  I found a special app on my iPhone that would remind me or wake me up every two hours... it even had a special Left or Right button.

The birthing center is a little different from the hospital setting in that they send you home 8 hours after the baby is born rather that a couple days after.  So her first night was in our house with no one instructing us what to do.  (Though the midwife was on-call for us).  I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before so I was exhausted!  When I woke up for one feeding at about 2 am, I started loosing it.  She wasn't opening her mouth wide and so it was hurting really badly and I kept taking her off the poor latch to try again... she was crying and crying and then I started to cry and cry.  My dear husband saw my pain and wanted to relieve it for me.  He said, their is some formula that the Similac sent free in the mail, I can get it and give it to her.  He had the sincere heart in saying this but it set me off.  I'd been studying breastfeeding for months now, I wasn't going to give up not even a day into it.  So I gave out a big loud deep NOOOOOOO.  I cut back the tears, took a deep breath and tried again.  The latch still wasn't perfect, but I knew a midwife would call me in the morning and another would be in the house the next day so I could ask her then.  Plus, I'd been told that the baby wasn't going to starve.  The 5 ml of colostrum they get is enough for their itty bitty 1-3 day old stomach.  It's not till about day 7 that their tummies can even hold up to 2 ounces of milk!

So with my every 90 min feeding and loads of skin to skin contact it didn't take long for my milk to come in.  I believe it started coming in at day 2.  It was day 4 I believe when I went closer to 4 hours without feeding her in the night and I woke up feeling like I had two huge stones on my chest.  I wonder if getting your milk supply in is what it feels like for a woman who wakes up after getting breast implants?

The first week and a half I spent feeding the baby every two hours during the day and every 4 during the night... or at cue.  I mean if she acted hungry before the 2 or 4 hour mark, I'd go ahead and feed her and restart the clock.

After a week
When she was 1 and a half weeks old she went to her "one week" appointment at the pediatrician's office.  (Austin Area Birthing Center does plenty of newborn check ups for the first 6 weeks so we didn't NEED to go to the pediatrician but we wanted to start our relationship off good with them.)  The pediatrician was impressed with the baby's weight gain and told me I could try to sleep through the night now without waking her... just continue feeding every 2 hours during the day and on cue at night.  So I started getting 6 hour stretches without feeding the baby at night.  Though this caused uncomfortable engorgement so after about 4 hours of sleep I'd wake up, and play on Facebook for 15 minutes or so while I pumped.

Breastfeeding at the Texas State Capital

Some issues
When she was probably about three weeks old I started noticing that sometimes when she was nursing she would look very frustrated and popped on and off her latch and even "tore" at me.  (I don't know a better word to describe it but it hurt).  I thought, oh no, she isn't getting enough milk!  I got advice to drink way more water so I did, and try special teas, so I did.  Maybe those things did help my supply but it actually wasn't low to start with.  I pumped after she did this and found I still pumped an ounce or two.  When I started practicing Elimination Communication and had diaper free time, I found out this is what she does every time she pees while nursing!

Now at 6 months
In the past 6 months I've mostly just followed my instinct on feeding.  I don't have to set a clock for when she needs fed (I think I ditched the app at about 4 weeks) but I just know.  Sometimes when I'm super busy in the day I have to look at the clock a little and make sure she has been fed in the past four hours, but even that situation is pretty rare.

Sleeping through the night?
Everyone asks me "does she sleep through the night?"  And I would say "no, not really,"  and get all sorts of advice on how to get her to sleep through the night and not feed her when she cries.  For a while I was trying to go by their advice even though I felt like it wasn't the right choice for me.  I'm so happy that God gave me a friend who goes to my church and happens to be a lactation consultant and doula.  She encouraged me to continue doing night feedings as I felt necessary because God gave me instinct for a reason.  She also said it isn't even that healthy for babies to go 12 hours without eating at night.  Heck, I never go 12 hours without food or drink!  So that makes sense to me!  Its funny how I get so tired when people tell me all these ideas of how to get the baby to "sleep through the night."  I feel all this pressure to sleep for 8 hours straight and the pressure wears me out!  But when I just relax and say, whatever, I'm a mom, its part of the job.  I feel totally rested even if I got up 3 times to feed her!
My sleep trick

One way I feel totally rested even if I do night feedings is when I co-sleep.  Instead of buying her a crib, we bought her a queen sized mattress to put on the floor.  So most nights I start off in bed cuddling with my husband and then when she wakes up hungry, I go in and lay down with her and feed her in a side laying position.  She doesn't even wake up and I hardly wake up either.  I have actually woken up with her latched on and I don't even remember putting her there... it is just pretty natural now.

My advice
My biggest advice that comes from my experience is get a good lactation consultant who is just as determined to get you breastfeeding as you are. Find out what she/he thinks about breastfeeding before you have the baby.  If she says half her clients end up not being able to breastfeed (or bottle feed with expressed milk) then fire her!  Find someone who has a great success rate and knows that your body is not a lemon!



Well that has been my experience for the past 6 months.  I know everyone has their own ways of doing things, and their bodies and babies may have a different experience.  But I hope my experience encourages you in your breastfeeding adventure!

Now Adelaide has begun grabbing food off of our plates so now begins baby-led weaning!  I'm sure I will be blogging on that soon enough! :)

Breastfeeding part 1 (Truth behind breastfeeding Myths)

Okay, breastfeeding is unfortunately a sensitive subject in this culture.  It is possible that living in a country founded on capitalism might have a bit to do with it.  Without getting political, I would like you to consider this...  Who is going to make any money on a product that you can make by yourself and only you can make yourself?  You won't see so many advertisements for it, and you won't have pharmaceutical sales reps pushing it in doctors' offices.  On the contrary, they are going to be pushing for something that they can profit from even if it is an inferior product.

Why would people buy something that isn't as good as something they could get for free?  Because they are told that their bodies are lemons... their bodies are not good enough to make this awesome product.  But how often is it true really?  According to research, only 1-3% of women truly cannot breastfeed.  Yet, this is not what you would think with the sales of formula being so high. It breaks my heart when I hear a women say she wasn't able to breastfeed her child... especially when I know how much she wanted to.  From what I've personally heard from women who have said this, every single one of them, had extremely terrible advice given to them or doctors and nurses who simply didn't give them the time, encouragement and support they needed.

I myself was a formula bottle-fed baby.  I grew up to be a strong healthy women, who was even healthy enough to grow up and be a breastfeeder.  So I know that formula doesn't equal a terrible start to your baby. But if you truly desire to breastfeed you baby because you want to have that unique bond with your baby, or save serious money so you can spend that money on buying adorable baby clothes (because your breastfed baby is going to grow fast!) give breast your best!

Below is some information from Colorado State University about breastfeeding written to child care providers.  Another good source is La Leche League.

Truth Behind Breastfeeding Myths – Guidelines for Child Care Providers
Like many things in this world, there are truths and myths about breastfeeding. Many of the myths about breastfeeding keep women from breastfeeding their infants. Breastfeeding is the recommended method of infant feeding. Listed below are the truths about some common breastfeeding myths. This information can help you help parents know the facts.

I know that I can’t breastfeed!
According to many researchers, only 1-3% of women truly cannot breastfeed. Some reasons why a mother cannot breastfeed include a temporary illness or breast surgery which has damaged the milk ducts. Some mothers feel they cannot breastfeed because they did not breastfeed their other children. Often times increasing a mother’s knowledge on breastfeeding and giving her the proper support and encouragement will help her try breastfeeding her infant.

I am not producing enough milk!
Many mothers choose to quit breastfeeding because they feel they are not producing enough milk. For the first 2-3 days, mothers produce a small amount of colostrum, which is rich in protein, vitamins and immune-helping agents. Because it is produced in small amounts, many mothers think this is not enough for their infants, but it is! It is all that an infant needs for the first few days of life. Also, parents of breastfeeding infants often are concerned with the weight loss that occurs with newborn breastfed infants. If a parent is concerned about the amount of weight loss their infant is having, it would be important for you to tell them to talk to their health professional and/or a lactation consultant.

My breasts will look funny and sag if I breastfeed!
This is not true at all! Genetics control whether or not a woman’s breasts will sag and this often can occur with pregnancy, but not breastfeeding.

If I go back to work, I can’t breastfeed!
Working and breastfeeding can take a little extra planning! Many companies are supportive of breastfeeding especially if they know the benefits that breastfeeding can provide. These benefits include a healthier infant which will lead to his/her mother and father having to take less time off of work! It is good to purchase or rent a breast pump from local hospitals and health departments, including WIC (Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children) so the mother can pump her breastmilk. Also, it is important for the working breastfeeding mother to have support from you, her child care provider.

I don’t have a good supply of milk because I am stressed and tired!
The most common causes of low milk supply are poor latch-on of the infant to the breast, poor positioning of the infant to the breast and not feeding the infant enough throughout the day. If a mother is feeling stressed or tired, it is important for her to find help among a supportive family member, friend, health professional or child care provider to help her decrease the amount of stress in her life if possible.

I don’t drink milk, so how can I make milk?
There is no mammal in this world that drinks milk to make milk for their infants. A mother does not have to drink milk to make milk.

If I breastfeed my baby, he/she will be spoiled later on in life!
Holding an infant while he/she is feeding is very important to reduce the infant’s chance of choking and ear infections. It is noted in research that infants who are held and cry less throughout the day appear to feel more safe and secure in their relationships with others as they get older.

If I breastfeed my baby, my mother or my baby’s father will not be able to bond with the infant!
Feeding is not the only way that other family members and friends can bond with the baby. Burping, diapering, bathing, rocking, holding, cuddling and playing with the infant are all things that are important for an infant’s growth, development and bonding with others. If a family member really wants to feed the baby breastmilk, it can be given in a bottle.

If I breastfeed my infant with on-demand feedings, my baby’s father and I will never have any alone time together!
Becoming a parent can change your lives forever – but this can be a positive thing! Whether a mother breastfeeds or formula feeds her baby, a newborn requires much attention for the first few weeks of life. It is important to know that a newborn infant’s needs will decrease over time. This is also a great time to work on developing your parenting skills together as a team. 

Mobile and sound machine?

Photo and caption by Luciana Belsito

This photo was taken in a village in southern Laos. The conditions in which these people live take us back for at least 50 years. They are very poor people and have nothing to give to their children to play with, except animals wandering around undisturbed. Sometimes someone gets caught and ends up hanging on to amuse a child.

Location: Don Khong Island-Laos

Unnecessary Baby Products

Baby Shoes- Socks?  Yes socks are great, they keep baby's feet warm... but baby shoes?  If your baby can't walk, then your baby doesn't need baby shoes.  Not to mention if they wear them through a Security Check at the airport, they have to take them off and put them through the x-ray like everyone else!  Also, baby feet come in way too many sizes and none of the shoes Adelaide was given have ever fit her nor will they.

Strollers- Yeah, they can be nice to have but not necessary.  Slings and wraps are a great alternative and much cheaper.  In addition to be more cost effective, they promote healthy bonding with your baby.  But if you want one, keep in mind, the more bells and whistles it has, the more likely it is going to be difficult to fold down into your car or fit through crowds at festivals or isles in the mall.

Bottle Warmer- I have one and I like it alright,  but my husband hates messing with it.  He just runs hot water over the bottle for a few minutes till it warms up.  Much more simplistic.

Special Diaper Bag- A bag is a bag.  My husband uses his hiking day pack, I use a large purse.  I've also used a messenger bag by timbuk2.  That reminds me, messenger style bags and backpacks are much easier to tote around while holding a baby than a shoulder bag... I love my big leather purse turned diaper bag but with that exception of it being hard to keep on my shoulder... but it is fashionable!

Cribs- In a previous post I talked about a rock n play and the pack n play we have used, and the option to co-sleep.  We are waiting right now for our "Adelaide's bed fund" to be complete (I think one more paycheck away!) so we can get a queen sized mattress to put on the floor for her to sleep on.  So no transitioning from bassinet, to crib, to toddler bed, to twin bed, to full sized.  We are going straight to full sized!  It is awesome for breastfeeding on my side in the middle of the night too.  No waking her up, and I can fall asleep on the job! :)  If you cry SIDS on me, I will rip you a new one... or I will kindly explain how that is not what causes it.

Store bought Mobile- Everything is interesting to your baby!  Have you noticed their great fascination with celling fans?  Similac mailed us some cool vision cards that we taped to a photo mobile we got for less than ten bucks at Whole Earth Provision.  She loved it!  Some of our friends just took a string and tied some tin foil on it above their son's head!  Their friends picked on them a bit for it so they added above his head a pair of big dangly hoop earrings, a pearl necklace and some dog tags.  Worked well for him!

Baby Bath Tubs/Seats- Someone gave us a bath tub, that's the only reason we have it.  We used it, but she is already growing out of it at 4 months.  Not an awesome investment considering babies only need to be bathed 2 or 3 times a week.  Our favorite bathing method (as in baby's favorite and mine and Chris') is using the shower!  She stays warm against our body and we can monitor the water easily as it is on our own body as well!  When we first started this all three of us got in together out of fear of dropping her, and needed back up.  But that really isn't necessary now.  If it really makes you nervous you can sit on the floor with the shower head in hand, and have your baby in a bumbo.  At 3 months I started just getting in the big bathtub with her.  We hang out for a while... its fun and relaxing for both of us!

Dishwasher basket- Its just in the way mostly.  If it is so small it needs to be in a special basket, couldn't you just hand wash it?

High Chair- I don't know this from experience yet, but a friend of mine with a 3 year old said she never needed one.  When he was little they used a bumbo and when he out-grew that he just sat in a chair with a book under him.

Changing table- We've ended up changing her diaper all over the house so a special table really isn't needed.  If you are afraid of messes and really want to, you could buy a special pad that they sell at Target for less than $20 and put it wherever you want to- floor, bed, chair, couch.  I'm considering getting one for this actually.

Videos- Baby's don't need to watch TV.  Hmmm, does anyone NEED to watch TV?  Just remember every second they are in front of a TV you are depriving them from Human interaction.  OCCATIONALLY we put this youtube video up for her on the computer when we just need a couple minutes for her to quiet down and for us to regroup... often during those crazy times.  You'd be surprised how quickly she goes from crazy to calm!  http://youtu.be/f7tJ0mUaNO8


So these are just a few examples, and if I have time I might make a part 2.  I'm sure you could think of more (please feel free to put them in the comments section).

One thing I like to do when trying to decide if something is a real need for babies is to think, "did they do this 200 years ago?"  Of course things like car seats are exceptions, but you get the idea.  And always think about if you already have something that "does the trick."  (example: Olive oil instead of baby oil... olive oil is actually much healthier too!)

And remember, there are tons of things you don't need but its okay to have!  If you always wanted to get your baby a stroller that can hover over water and do the hokey pokey then go for it! :)  

parenting magazine.

I'll keep this short.  Somehow loads of companies get your information when you get pregnant and send you all sorts of crazy stuff.  If you magically get parenting magazine's one year free subscription my suggestion is to take it out of your mailbox and take it straight to the recycling bin.  It is filled with terrible articles that are basically trying to hide the fact that they are trying to sell you something you don't need.
It has some of the WORSE advice I have ever read also.

Once such article was the response to a question: "My three year old's day care requires him to be potty trained, but he hasn't let me know he is ready yet...Is it psychologically damaging to him to try to potty train him." Answer (brought to you by Huggies): "Yes"
I'd like to suggest that a 3 year old sitting in his feces each day is likely more psychologically damaging than teaching him to use the restroom like the other kids in day care.

That article is just ridiculous but some of them down right make me mad!  (I won't go into that rant).  Every now and then I'll see an article that looks interesting... I start to read it... and then... what?  Hmm? Where is the rest of it?  Yeah, its as if they just quit thinking of what to write but didn't want to let the 5 minutes of work they already put into the article go to waste so they print it any way.  No substance at all.

Again, bypass the coffee table- take it straight to the bin... that's my humble opinion, take it or leave it.

The 5 Things Every Mom should know

Okay a new parent must (in my humble opinion) is to be a part of a group with other parents.  Community is so important- especially for cooped up stay at home moms.  My group is MOPS (mothers of preschoolers).  When I first heard of MOPS, I thought it did NOT sound like something for me... they are people obsessed with their families that like crafts right?  Well as it turns out they DO love their families (but learn not to make it an identity) and yeah, there is craft time.... but I never craft; I sit with the other moms who "forgot" to bring their craft materials and just talk for that time.

But one great part of MOPS is the special speakers.  I don't know if its because I live in a big city and our MOPS group has like 300 people in it, but we have some awesome speakers!  A couple weeks ago there was a special speaker named Vicki Courtney who is the author of many books including 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter.  Her talk was titled "The 5 Things Every Mom Needs To Know."  I just want to share my notes because her talk really helped me get a little perspective and relax in my new role as Mom.

1.  No one has this parenting thing down.

• Cut yourself some slack and don't get PMS (Perfect Mom Syndrome)
• Do what you've got to do... you're probably not going to mess up your child

Philippians 1:6 New International Version (NIV) 
⁶ being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

2.  If you play the Comparison game, you're guaranteed to loose fast

• So what if your baby isn't doing this as soon as your friend's baby 
• If you make a mistake just fix it! You can't really just figure things out perfectly.
• So be willing to readjust as you go- thought cloth diapers were perfect and now you don't?  No biggie!  Bring on the disposables!  

1 Peter 2 New International Version (NIV)

 ¹ Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. ² Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, ³ now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.

3. Avoid parenting extremes.  (3 days a week 3 hours a day piano practice at age 3 kinda stuff)

• Let the kid have fun being a kid... not just what you want them to pursue in life.

4.  Parent from the inside out.

• "Change the heart not the behavior"
• They have to examine their own hearts- you can't just ground them for bad behavior or they will go to their friends house and do that same thing.  Help them connect the dots to why the bad behavior is bad.

5. Remember your place.  Motherhood is not your primary calling.

• Focus on being a child of the Father more than the mother of your child.

1 Corinthians 3:7 New International Version (NIV)

⁷ So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.

Anyway, just wanted to pass Vicki's wisdom on to y'all!