Elimination Communication

I get the "what the what?" expression when I tell anyone or they see me practice Elimination Communication with my baby.  But let me tell you, it has been an amazing experience so far for me and my baby.  We've had great bonding time and it has helped me feel more connected to her as we communicate with each other in a way many people have no idea babies can do!

When it is just the two of us at home all morning and afternoon, she goes completely diaper free!  You are thinking... gross!  But here is the deal- she only uses the restroom!  No accidents on me or the floor.. or chairs... or bed... or anywhere!   If you ask me, it is way LESS gross to have her use a toilet than to pee and poo in her diaper where she has to sit in it for who knows how long till someone notices so it can get changed.

I could blog all night about it and how it works, but my blog isn't really about that as much as I am trying to have a single place for pregnant or new parents to go to in order to find information on living simply with a baby.

So I'm directing you to a great website about EC... (that's the hip term for Elimination Communication).

http://ecsimplified.com/about-elimination-communication/

It is by a women named Andrea, and she has written a book on it, gives a 101 overview on her website, she has a blog, gives tons of information, and even has scientific research on it.  I get emails from her once a week that really encourage me and help me out.

I even joined a local EC group here in Austin.  We email each other now and then about success or advice and get together once a month.

I'd say there are still a few kinks I need to work out on it- like what to do when other people are caring for her?  No one else knows when she is communicating her need like I do so she ends up getting frustrated with them.  But I might email Andrea or my support group about this soon.

Wanna try it?  Let me know if you do- I will cheer for you!

Car Seat Safety

There are a million things that are sold for babies that are simply not necessary.  Jumpers, walkers, postitioners, baby Einstein anythings, baby shoes... Car seats however, are not one of them.  Sure I've been to a country where they took there baby around in the stroller and then when they got in the car they simply  put the stroller in the van with the baby still in it!  He enjoyed the stops where he would roll to the front of the van, and then to the back when they started back up.  But we don't live in Eastern Europe and car seats are the law.  So you probably should use them right.  Trust me, there are days when the baby has been awake and crazy all day and they finally calm down in a swaddle right before you need to pack them up into the car.  I'm so tempted to just leave her in the swaddle and barely strap her into the seat.  But its a bad idea... do it right.  Here is a video that I just watched today.  There were a few things I haven't been doing correctly I found out.  Hope this is helpful to you too.

How to Buckle a Child into a Car Seat with a 5-Point Harness from The Car Seat Lady on Vimeo.

Baby Containers

For centuries women carried their babies on their body.  Then one day in 1733, an English garden architect invented the first known stroller that was pulled around by a goat.  It wasn't till the 1900's that they became so popular in the West.  The great bonding opportunity found in baby wearing started to disappear.  But now its coming back!  To the left is a picture of me trying out by Lucky Baby Sling when Baby A was less than a week old.  I had my doubts about it at first because she looked so squashed in there.  I think maybe it was actually too big for her at first because by week 3 she was fitting in it well.

Here she is in it a lot more comfortably.  She is 2 and a half months old... and 15 pounds keep in mind!  Your baby may look differently in it.  But basically you can tell if she is comfortable or not by if she is squirmy or fussy when she gets in it, or if she is looking zen as my friend Julie S would put it. ;)  As the baby grows there are different positions to put her in to hold her.  Check out the Lucky Baby site to see more about it.  

Now we also got a backpack style baby carrier like the one below but she was not content in it at all.  An occupational therapist spoke to a group of mothers I meet with bi monthly about these things.

 She said as I sat in my chair to slump forward and curl my arms into my chest a bit... then in opposition try arching my back backwards in my chair with my arms held out.  Obviously the first was more comfortable and soothing.  The same goes for your baby.  When he is in a curled up position as the sling provides he will be more soothed and cosy and possibly even fall to sleep.  While carrying your baby in the front of your chest where he looks out will put him in a very alert position just as when you sit up with your arms and legs separated and hyper extended.  So this is great for keeping your baby alert probably, but its usually just best to keep that baby calm and relaxed in your arms.  But the OT suggested one more problem with these front carriers.  She said many children are starting to walk with this cowboy waddle.  Their hips are being distorted at a young age causing some developmental issues.   Now if you have been doing this with your baby already- don't freak out!  It's okay.  It is awesome that you are keeping your baby on your body where they can feel your warmth and protection and chances are you aren't going to mess up your child.  It might just be time to put that carrier away for a while.  OR consider getting a simple sling or try a wrap made from 6 yards of cotton gauze cut in half the long way.  (Look on youtube and google for videos on how to do this- I haven't tried it yet myself.)

Something the OT also was concerned about for babies these days was the overuse of infant car seats.  She and her colleges call them baby containers.  Parents put their babies in the car seat and tote them around in their car, get to the store where they carry them in the car seat in the cart, then when they get home keep them in the car seat for nap time and when they wake up they'll even feed them in it.  The baby spends most of its day in the car seat... only to be taken out to be put in a bumbo or baby jumper.  Keeping babies contained like this all day can cause developmental delays.  Its important to let the baby lay around on the floor for tummy time and play time and be held to learn to hold their bodies and necks up.  So a good rule of thumb is to try to keep that baby in the car seat only when it is required by law.  

With that being said, there are those days when Baby A has gone crazy all day long and we go for a drive in the car to the grocery store and she finally zonks out!  Okay, I'm not going to risk waking her to put her in a sling.  I'm going to take that quiet time where I can get it and stealthily transfer her car seat from car to grocery cart or stroller. 

Which somehow brings me to where I started- strollers.  Are they a baby must?  Not at all!  Take a look at the movie "Babies" and you'll see a healthy baby boy growing up in Africa with out a stroller.  So if you don't have room in your car our house to keep a stroller you can skip it.
  

I have two strollers that were both given to me in my slight protest because before I had the baby I was hoping to depend solely on my slings.  


One is a snap n go.  This can lead to TERRIBLE habits of baby containing, but when used in extreme moderation it can be nice.  Sometimes I even push it around when I have my baby in the sling when I'm shopping and need a place to put my purchases and diaper bag... and my coke (it seriously has two cup holders).  Not to mention on hot summer days I don't like having to put the baby back in a hot car seat so its nice to bring it in even if she isn't actually in it.  

The other stroller we haven't actually gotten to use much because she is still a bit too small.  It is a jogger stroller made by Columbia called the FunRun Jogger.  The only time Baby A has been in it was when Chris gave it a spin around the block while she sat in it very awkwardly.  He thought it felt great and is looking forward to some jogs with her when she is big enough.

Believe it or not, I have more on baby containing, but that's enough for one blog entry right?  Email me if you have any thoughts or questions!

There's an app for that.

It is so great to have a smart phone when you have a baby. You can easily surf the web while you are at pediatrician appointments, feeding, or when you can't move from your seat because she finally fell asleep in your arms and you don't want to risk moving her. FaceTime becomes a feature you actually want to use when you are calling the grandparents! And best of all, the apps. For just a dollar or two you can buy an app to replace something the baby stores are charging you out the bum for. Here are just two examples, but to stay on a budget and keep your house from baby clutter, think: Is there an app for that?

I was so happy when my sister-in-law let me borrow her itsbeen to help me monitor my feedings and diaper changes. My mother said she knew me well and doubted I would use it. Boy was she wrong... for almost one week. The hardest part about it for me was keeping up with it. Every time I sat down to feed I would try to be prepared by having my water, my cell phone, my computer, and my itzbeen. After forgetting so many times I finally looked on my iPhone for an app and sure enough there were many! So finally I got to a point where I only had my phone to track feedings and I used my phone for the internet so I only had to keep up with it and my water. I'd say that even within 3 weeks I ditched the monitoring all together. She was growing at a healthy rate and I was feeding on demand anyway so it became pretty unnecessary. Skip the $25 itsbeen and go for the $1.99 app on this one. While there are plenty great ones to choose from, the one I settled on was the Baby Feeding Log by Aron Beaver.

It's true that white noise can help soothe a baby to sleep, but should you buy a special toy to make that noise? I say only if you love it and think its cute. But if you are like me and want to reduce toy clutter you can download the TMsoft White noise app. My favorite setting is on the free version- it sounds like you are in an airplane, but without the crying baby! It puts me to sleep just as well as it puts my baby to sleep. It also has a timer on it so you are not listening to it for 8 hours at night... (as if a baby sleeps 8 hours a night).

White Noise

Relax. Sleep Better. Feel Better.

Talking on the phone AND needing a white noise machine? Turn on the radio to static. It works like a charm on our baby when she gets upset in the car.

Real really simple nursery

When I was pregnant I did loads of googleing to find great ideas for keeping it simple when we had our baby. To my surprise that was not as easy as I had expected. For the most part I had to figure it out on my own. I suppose that is because not many advertisers want to advice you to buy as little as possible. But here I blog out of the goodness of my heart, not to sell you anything!

The picture above is how we started out. Our "nursery" was in the corner of our own bedroom. We actually have a second bedroom but with my mother staying with us for a few weeks to help us get adjusted while the baby was here, we wanted her to have her own room. We also just thought it would be easier to care for the baby in the middle of the night if everything we needed was in our room. That ended up working really well.

But let's break it down. A friend of mine gave me the wire drawers that have been great because I can see right through them and know exactly where everything is. The top drawer is filled with diapers so I don't even have to open it, I just grab from the top.

To the left of the wire baskets you will see the "diaper champ." AKA waste of money. It wasn't really helpful, obviously with cloth diapers being larger than disposables. I thought I could use it to throw wipes in but it didn't get the wipes into the bottom part very well. Also the wipes don't smell bad after even a poopy use, so it was pretty pointless and ended up in the recycling bin within a week of Baby being born. It was replaced with a small trash can we already had at our office desk. It has a step peddle to open the lid which helps make for quick disposal.

Also we have a small table set up with a lamp on it and baby wipes. Originally we had a wipes warmer. AKA waste of money #2. It really didn't keep the wipes so warm. By the time we took it from the warmer to the booty it was cool again. We also had to keep it warm by constantly wetting this pad on the bottom of it. And as it turns out, it doesn't bother the baby one bit to have a non warmed baby wipe. (update on this: I was actually at a friends house who had a lionheart wipes warmer and it actually worked pretty good.  Still not a necessity but at least I know they at least do work.)

If you want to keep it extra simple, skip the wipes all together! We told a friend of ours that we don't use wipes after a number one because the pediatrician said it wasn't necessary and even better for the works down there not to. They replied that they don't use wipes at all for one or two! They just run their baby's bottom under the water! I would love to do that, but the sink is way too far away to do that. It is my dream to have a bathroom big enough for our whole changing table set up though. That would be perfect and perhaps make Elimination Communication easier... what is Elimination Communication? It will have to be the topic of a completely different blog!

We also have one hamper for our cloth diapers which is pictured... and not pictured is a hamper we got later for messy baby clothes. Which we go through quicker than you would know!  (we now know that keeping a bib on the baby is a lot easier to change than her whole outfit- it catches drool and spit up well)

In the corner is our pack n play with built in changing table. Awesome! If you are trying to keep it simple in your house, always try to get combo deals like this. The changing pad has worked well for us. Baby A is 15 pounds and 25 inches long (yes she is in the 95% in weight and height) and this thing is holding out well. The pockets on the sides are great for holding diapering supplies. There is a place to hold just a few wet wipes. It is pretty pointless to use this because I'd be refilling it everyday. However if I were to take it on a trip, which I haven't yet, it would probably be useful then.  (update on this: we did travel with it and it is very difficult to take apart and put back together with the changing table and canopy on it.)

Graco Pack 'n Play Portable Baby Play Yard

As for the crib section... during the first month this sections was called the baby storage unit. We pretty much just thew blankets and toys in there as we got them from visitors. We kept her in the Rock N Play to sleep in. Eventually we cleaned out the baby storage unit and would place her in it on occasion for just a few minutes just so she would be in a safe place when I was in a pinch and needed to set her down. By two months old I was placing her in it for naps. Only recently I have placed her in it for a whole night's sleep. There is a mat that makes it into this "crib" like setting, that we can take out when she is older to play in. I'm not sure how that will go. It seems so small and cage like to contain a child in, but so far this pack n play has been awesome enough to make it worth its money even if we don't use the bottom part.

As I mentioned before she sleeps in a Fisher Price Rock N Play, pictured below.

Fisher-Price Newborn Rock 'n Play Sleeper

This thing is wonderful! I originally considered co-sleeping with the baby. There is some controversy over this, but seriously the only people who roll over their children and suffocate them are drunks and druggies. Occasionally she slept in bed with us, but it made for a slightly uncomfortable night for us as we were overly cautious not to roll over her... and also my husband is just a big guy and I'm a bed hog so we didn't really have room for a third. But if you are able to, I know that there are many different beds you can put in your bed for added security and safety for your baby. If you rather not add something in your bed and keep it simple, just be sure to do the safety research.

So our alternative was the Rock N Play. The rock n play sat by our bedside all night long. It has no electronics on it and can easily be moved all around the house. So wherever we needed her to be to nap she could nap there.

It also made the middle of the night feedings much easier. I just picked her up, laid her in bed with me to feed, and then when she fell back asleep, I just put her right back in.

It is at a incline which helps digestion I'm told. I am so grateful she has not suffered from colic but I'm told that this incline is really helpful to those colicky babies.

One more praise for this thing is that if your pediatricians and baby books have freaked you out about not letting babies roll over and sleep on their belly, you don't have to worry about it in this thing.

Our little girl seems to talk in her sleep so I wasn't getting very good sleep so we transitioned her into the other room. This transition has been super easy because she is still in her same rock n' play so she doesn't seem to notice or care.

Well I'm sure this blog isn't going to win any blog awards but I sure hope it helps someone out there in thinking of ways to keep their home baby simple. I will continue with more simple tips on bathing, diaper bags, and baby carriers next time.

Giving birth to a 10 pound baby.... naturally

We are ten days away from 3 months ago when I gave birth to Baby A. When the clock hit midnight July 23, 2011 a contracting pain in my back struck. Thus the name contractions.

Midwifes had been preparing me for what to expect so I would know it was a contraction and not just another random pain of pregnancy. As they said, it felt much like extreme minstrel cramps that radiated from my back to my front. I told Chris and he said, "That's great! You should get some sleep then!" He wasn't being a jerk, this is what the midwives and dulas had suggested. But it wasn't going to happen for me. I went for a walk.

My brother who was in town for the weekend and staying up late on the computer saw me walk out the door. He caught up with me quickly.

"Everything okay? Whatcha doin?"

"I think I'm in labor."

"What?! What are we doing out here?! Don't we need to do something?!"

He hadn't taken the "centering" courses Chris and I had that kept us a little bit calmer.

I told him that walking is good to do in early labor and because this was my first pregnancy it would probably take several hours before going into late labor. Then I changed the subject to just talk with him. He would be leaving for Ukraine in just two weeks so I wanted to have good bonding time.

I came home to lay in bed for a little while; not sleeping but just thinking and contracting. I downloaded an application on my iPhone that helped time contractions. In retrospect I should have bought this application before going intolabor and should have bought the full version rather than buying the free version that only allowed me to track a certain amount of contractions. This application was extremely helpful when answering the midwife's questions about my labor.

In the meantime I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the bathroom, scrubbed the bathtub, and actually so much is a blur I don't remember what I did till 4 am when I finally called the birthing center. I spoke to the sleepy midwife on-call who felt I was a little too calm to be in labor. But my contractions were around 6 minutes apart and strong. She told me I could probably hold out a little longer. So I attempted to rest for an hour and called her again when they were 4 minutes apart. Another woman was in the birthing center giving birth so she said I could come in when I wanted since there would be people there anyway.

I took a shower and woke my mom to tell her what was going on. She braided my hair. Its so wonderful to have my mom braid my hair. My mother was the one to braid my hair when I was a child. Even into adulthood it has been a soothing experience to have my mamma braid my hair just as she did when I was a little girl.

Chris and I got in the Jeep around 7:00 am with the empty carseat in the back and headed to the Taco Cabana near the birthing center. All the way timing my contractions.

I had some doubts this whole time... was this really it? It felt different then anything before but I just had this feeling it wasn't really the time. Perhaps I was just fearful and it manifested itself in doubt. I texted my friend Felicia F who said she would photograph the birth, to tell her that we were headed to the birthing center and she could take her time coming up there when she was ready. I expressed my doubt to her. But she told me not to worry, it was time.

I had a couple flautas at Taco C and vomited them quickly. Another sign of labor. So we headed over to the birthing center to meet with the midwife. She checked me out and I was indeed more dilated than she expected. I've since heard that many of the women who have gone to Centering classes have remained calm during their labor and confused midwives into thinking they were not very far along. So I continued my early labor in the beautiful birthing center room. Chris was by my side the whole time.

Chris massaged my back through the contractions. I laid on a birthing ball (exercise ball) for a while to relieve some of the pressure. We did something like a middle school dance for a while that also helped with the pressure. Then eventually I laid on the bed and rested. Every time I contracted I would tap him on the arm without talking and he would massage my back. (Okay maybe it was more like a loving punch in the arm.) I was starting to look a little to pale and throwing up frequently so they put me on a liquids through IV.

My mom came in at some point too. She sat on the other side of me and just softly rubbed my

arms as I asked her to do. This was something she and my dad would do for me as a little girl to help me sleep. Of course it didn't put me to sleep but it did help relax me. I even stopped telling Chris I was contracting so he thought I had stopped having contractions. But they were still there and still strong, I just finally was able to bear the pain a bit better.

Eventually a new midwife was on duty, Vicki. She checked me out and I was dilated enough that I was beginning heavy labor. The assistant filled the bathtub and I got in. I was in that tub from noon till about 2:30. The pushing was difficult. Chris was behind me the whole time holding my arms up in the tub. At one point he was shaking so much I asked, "why are YOU shaking!?" He said his arms were going to sleep!

After two and a half hours I just wasn't progressing enough. The position wasn't working for me. Vicki, who had been sitting there with me the entire time, told the assistantto get out the birthing stool. I was really hoping for a water birth but at this point I cared more about getting the baby out than having a pretty water birth for the photo books. So I got on the stool as she suggested and started pushing. I was feeling extremely weak and having trouble breathing so the assistant gave me oxygen that really helped clear my head and let me focus better. Then things really started moving.

Chris supported me from behind the whole time. He had one of his hands on my belly and he said he could feel the foot in my belly start moving down.

After maybe 30 minutes on the stool the baby's head started to come out. Vicki suggested I get up on the bed (to reduce the chances of tearing I found out later) but I couldn't do it. I didn't want to get up and just wanted to get the baby out. So I took some big pushes and out the baby came!

My first words were: "THAT FELT SO WEIRD!"

The midwife sitting on the floor caught the baby and the assistant helped wipe her down and handed her straight to me as they both cleared the mouth so she could breathe.

I said, "Hello baby, I'm your mommy." Then I looked down at her and asked "Are you a boy or a girl?" Chris took her legs and tried to separate them frantically but gently to find the answer and said, "It's a girl."

He had tears in his eyes. I was so happy in that moment. We embraced and never in our lives had we felt so close.

After just a few minutes they asked me to get on the bed so I could deliver the placenta and get the cord cut... I don't remember in which order it all happened so fast. They asked Chris to cut the cord but I suppose he was so overwhelmed at just looking at the baby on my chest that he told my mother she could do it. She cried and her hands shook as she proudly cut the cord.

I had a considerable amount of tearing ... the baby's head was 15 and 1/4 inches around! So Vicki sat on the bed to sew me back up while Chris and I just admired our little baby who sat on my chest.

Family sat on the other side of the door anxious to get in, but Vicki insisted we be alone with the baby till I was done being worked on. It was a little painful despite the topical numbing drugs they gave me before she began the stitches, but having Baby A helped distract from the pain.

After they cleaned up the room and cleaned me up a bit they allowed family and friends in. Everyone took their turn holding the precious baby. Neill brought me McDonalds that I tried to eat but felt too excited to eat. While everyone was present, Vicki measured Adelaide and checked her out. What a joyous moment it was when the scale said TEN POUNDS. Everyone cheered, giving me a little nod of respect.

When everyone had left I got up to use the bathroom for the first time and I fainted. They quickly got me into bed to give me an IV and oxygen. Vicki insisted I eat more and drink a whole smoothie that Chris prepared in the birthing center's kitchen. I simply lost more blood than normal while giving birth and it just took me a couple hours to feel better.

So she was born at 3:12 pm and around 9:00 pm that same day we headed home with her in the backseat carseat of the Jeep.

Would I do it again? It's the question everyone asks. Yes I would. From what I've heard, my experience was one of the more extreme ones; most women do not get IVs or oxygen or faint. The likelihood of it being so difficult the second time are pretty low... and that wasn't even so difficult. I'm glad I was very present for the birth rather than in a drug blur.

The care was unbelievable too. If I was in a hospital trying for a natural birth, the doctor would likely have only been there to "catch" the baby not there the whole labor as Vicki was. Then again, most doctors would have pulled an "emergency" cesarian after such a long hard labor rather than just getting me to switch positions. Also most doctors won't sit on the floor to deliver a baby.

But to be fair, if I didn't have that option, and maybe lived in a town where birthing centers were not available and there were no reliable midwives then I would have the baby in a hospital. The baby would still be born, and I would still be a happy mommy in love with my daughter.

I believe that even babies born via cesarian are born "naturally." You can't look into a baby's eyes and say she is not natural because she was born in a surgery. They just were brought into the world a little differently.

But if you are a healthy woman having a single baby pregnancy, I would highly recommend having a baby this way. I've not met one women who has regretted it.

For a great documentary to get a better idea of what the midwife experience is like, please watch "The Business of Being Born."